Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Help a lady out?
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Sunday, March 11, 2012
Gloomy Rainy Sundays
Yesterday being my mother's birthday I made her cupcakes. Her, my dad, and I also went and saw a movie. (John Carter of Mars if you must ask. It was actually not bad.) However, this isn't about celebrating my mother's birthday. It's about promises.
I love my mother dearly. We don't see eye to eye on practically anything it seems but she wants soo soo bad for me to share her ideas. But I just can't. Religion, politics, day to day things that aren't important at all...
Last week she made me promise to go to church with her for her birthday. It's not just that! She's made me promise all sorts of things that I cannot keep. Like moving far away or calling everyday when I'm gone. I go long distances for work and I'm often very very busy. I try to call when I can but it's very difficult when everyone is demanding your focus. Often times I just don't have anything to say except, "Hi mom, I love you! this day was not terribly exciting. How are you?" She always expects more...and I don't have anything to say past that. I'm sure to eventually move far because my work demands travel. It's something I enjoy and I can certainly do better than a small town in the midwest.
Religion is a troublesome one. I'm agnostic and she's rather conservative. Recently the arguments are increasing. I have decent reasons for my ideas that she can't seem to understand. We're fortunately over the speed bump of homosexuality.
Ah, this blog isn't well organized.
Here's a video to make up for it: Video fun times.
I love my mother dearly. We don't see eye to eye on practically anything it seems but she wants soo soo bad for me to share her ideas. But I just can't. Religion, politics, day to day things that aren't important at all...
Last week she made me promise to go to church with her for her birthday. It's not just that! She's made me promise all sorts of things that I cannot keep. Like moving far away or calling everyday when I'm gone. I go long distances for work and I'm often very very busy. I try to call when I can but it's very difficult when everyone is demanding your focus. Often times I just don't have anything to say except, "Hi mom, I love you! this day was not terribly exciting. How are you?" She always expects more...and I don't have anything to say past that. I'm sure to eventually move far because my work demands travel. It's something I enjoy and I can certainly do better than a small town in the midwest.
Religion is a troublesome one. I'm agnostic and she's rather conservative. Recently the arguments are increasing. I have decent reasons for my ideas that she can't seem to understand. We're fortunately over the speed bump of homosexuality.
Ah, this blog isn't well organized.
Here's a video to make up for it: Video fun times.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Gotta get back into the swing of things
So to be honest I've not been blogging mainly due to outright laziness cause by depression and anxiety.
I started on new medications and while the seizures have stopped, I ended up trading one problem for another. Depression, anxiety, disorientation, severe loneliness.
But all of that will end soon. I discovered there's a surgery I can do that will end this. I will no longer have to take horrible medications and will be free entirely. Hopefully then I will be able to feel like a person again.
Well more so, anyhow.
To make up for my lack of posts, here's me getting pissed off at an empty box of girl scout cookies:
I started on new medications and while the seizures have stopped, I ended up trading one problem for another. Depression, anxiety, disorientation, severe loneliness.
But all of that will end soon. I discovered there's a surgery I can do that will end this. I will no longer have to take horrible medications and will be free entirely. Hopefully then I will be able to feel like a person again.
Well more so, anyhow.
To make up for my lack of posts, here's me getting pissed off at an empty box of girl scout cookies:
Hopefully more updates soon.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Mad House
This day is only succeeding in making me more and more irate. I seem to have a knee injury that I don't know how I sustained and some how this makes people have me carry things up and down the stairs. Then when I want to do something to relax my PC is messed up so I go to play console games but am kicked off of my own wii so other people who have their own TV can watch stupid movies like the goddamn 'Notebook'. I can barely even read my computer monitor and I'm in a great deal of pain. Everything within walking distance is closed (not that I can walk very far anyhow at the moment) and everyone seems to be busy. Then people call but then hang up forcing me to trip over things and then when I call them back they don't answer. When they finally do answer they're mad at me for not answering my phone right away and hang up. Somehow this is my fault. The dogs keep howling continuously so the neighbors blare their radio to block them out. I'm not sure which is worse: The high pitch dog whining or the low booming thump of the bass on their car stereo. I can't do anything about the dogs since they are not mine and I am forbidden from disciplining them in any manner and I also cannot ask the neighbors to kindly stop with the heavy bass because I live in this dog infested household.
Somehow this is a family holiday which is silly to me since no one I know was directly effected by events that occurred ten years ago other than the fact that it makes traveling more tense on everyone and anyone that decides to fly in the family is given the warning to 'watch out fer terrists!' Okaayyy. Not to belittle the event or such, but I live in Missouri and no one I know out here lost anyone in the incident. I mean not to say people in my state have not lost anyone in the events a decade ago but no one I know personally. Which sounds selfish now that I think about it.
Ah, I guess I should do the whole thing where I recall where I was September 11, 2001 when it all happened but it really was not exciting at all. I was 15 at the time and was planning on being late to school that day because I had a pretty bad cold and was trying to clear my sinuses by sitting in a hot bath when suddenly my mother bursted into the bathroom shouting something about "planes" and "bombs" and some towers I had never heard of because it was in New York and I had never been there and at the time really had no idea what the skyline looked like. She decided I was not going to school that day out of fear of people blowing up my school which was out in the middle of nowhere and me not feeling well I decided it made more sense not to argue that no one would want to blow up my high school because it was not in a major area because I was 15, sick, and parent condoned off day from school sounded like a good idea. I spent the day glancing at the TV occasionally as they replayed the events over and over. At first I was shocked and upset like everyone else but then I was more bothered that they didn't seem to show anything else on TV and it was rather upsetting since I was 15. A combination of horror and boredom. I recall at one point I swore I was going to wear stupid red while and blue socks until the person behind it was caught. This bargain lasted about 4 weeks when the washer went out and then I got distracted with something else. I was a dumb kid.
Besides all my silly complaining I do I have some fun things going on.( I am typing this while my PC is going out so if there's spelling errors I will have to edit them later as I cannot see what I'm typing at all. ) I recently got a small opportunity (singing I think) at a haunted house in a theme park of all places. I was on my way home from the Japanese Festival in St. Louis Botanical Gardens when I saw a sign for auditions for this event and decided to stop. I ended up being the very last person to auditon I believe. They asked for crazy so I gave them mad scene arias. I suppose they were at least somewhat impressed since I managed to get a role in the insane asylum. Either that or they are committing me....
Somehow this is a family holiday which is silly to me since no one I know was directly effected by events that occurred ten years ago other than the fact that it makes traveling more tense on everyone and anyone that decides to fly in the family is given the warning to 'watch out fer terrists!' Okaayyy. Not to belittle the event or such, but I live in Missouri and no one I know out here lost anyone in the incident. I mean not to say people in my state have not lost anyone in the events a decade ago but no one I know personally. Which sounds selfish now that I think about it.
Ah, I guess I should do the whole thing where I recall where I was September 11, 2001 when it all happened but it really was not exciting at all. I was 15 at the time and was planning on being late to school that day because I had a pretty bad cold and was trying to clear my sinuses by sitting in a hot bath when suddenly my mother bursted into the bathroom shouting something about "planes" and "bombs" and some towers I had never heard of because it was in New York and I had never been there and at the time really had no idea what the skyline looked like. She decided I was not going to school that day out of fear of people blowing up my school which was out in the middle of nowhere and me not feeling well I decided it made more sense not to argue that no one would want to blow up my high school because it was not in a major area because I was 15, sick, and parent condoned off day from school sounded like a good idea. I spent the day glancing at the TV occasionally as they replayed the events over and over. At first I was shocked and upset like everyone else but then I was more bothered that they didn't seem to show anything else on TV and it was rather upsetting since I was 15. A combination of horror and boredom. I recall at one point I swore I was going to wear stupid red while and blue socks until the person behind it was caught. This bargain lasted about 4 weeks when the washer went out and then I got distracted with something else. I was a dumb kid.
Besides all my silly complaining I do I have some fun things going on.( I am typing this while my PC is going out so if there's spelling errors I will have to edit them later as I cannot see what I'm typing at all. ) I recently got a small opportunity (singing I think) at a haunted house in a theme park of all places. I was on my way home from the Japanese Festival in St. Louis Botanical Gardens when I saw a sign for auditions for this event and decided to stop. I ended up being the very last person to auditon I believe. They asked for crazy so I gave them mad scene arias. I suppose they were at least somewhat impressed since I managed to get a role in the insane asylum. Either that or they are committing me....
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Traveling
I'm probably going to say this plenty but, I love traveling. There's so many things I want to see and it's one of the things I like about being a performer is getting to go so many places. I also enjoy seeing my friends that live out of town. I love finding interesting shops and restaurants on my way. With that being said however it always leaves me tired when I return. I always have energy when I'm out but when I get back home afterward I just feel like sleeping for days. Am I depressed to be back home? Did I just take that long to wear myself out? or am I normally like this at home and I just get excited when I'm out of the house? I'm not entirely sure. Perhaps it's a few of those things.
Recently I got back from Kansas City. I was visiting a very good friend. We goofed off, walked all over and shopped and ate. I also discovered I am the laziest wii player with certain games. Namely, Harvest Moon. This involved me laying on my stomach on the bed head propped up on a pillow with my arms hanging over the edge with the nunchuck in one hand and the wii-mote in the other. Classy, I know. Anyhow, I had lots of fun visiting.
We got a energy drink that looks like blood in a bag. It's called Blood (ooh big surprise). It's supposedly supposed to have similar nutrients to human blood. Why anyone would make something like this I am unsure and why I would volunteer to try it is an even greater mystery since I'm normally quite put off by the thought of drinking something that tastes like liquid pennies. Yet, nonetheless I was the one that tried it. As it said on the package it tasted like fruit punch. Then......PENNIES!! Why would I do that to myself?! Anyhow, there is video of this. However I'm not sure I want to share this.
I was sad to leave but for some reason all good things must come to an end or something like that. We arrived at the train station earlier than needed so we wandered around the station and the mall near by. We also went to grab lunch. Because we decided we had plenty of time to spare we didn't rush and so I was almost late for my train. As soon as we got to the waiting area they announced the last call for the train I was taking so we rushed out the door to the loading area and because my heart doesn't always want to cooperate with my body I ended up getting dizzy and falling. I was fine but that made it even more of a rush to get down there. I made it. The conductor said I still had 2 minutes to spare. I think I wish I had missed it though.
The trip back was not very exciting. I slept mostly and listened to music. Then I realized that I might have forgotten to tell my ride to pick me up. So I then started trying to call her but no one would answer. so I gave up and called another friend instead in case she didn't show up. When I got off the train she had remembered however and everything was fine....or so I thought. We got everything loaded in the car and were getting out of the parking lot and the car made sputtering noises and then would not start up. So I decided we should go get help across the street. "At a bar!?" she said. I didn't really see the problem as it's not a shady part of town and people here are generally well behaved. She continued. "I was so scared waiting in the train station by myself. It's scary in there at night." I can't understand why. It's a nice town and they keep the station up well. It even has an art gallery in it. It's well lit and there's people on staff. I explained that we couldn't just sit here and that we needed to get some help as I had already tried dialing 411 but it was being uncooperative and decided to seek a phone book instead. I said she could stay there while I went across the street to get a tow truck number but she insisted I not walk over there all by myself. Which I think she was more afraid for herself than me honestly. The street wasn't large or busy at all. The place we were going was a restaurant during the day and had a bar that stayed open late. A sports bar. So it was just guys sitting around having a few beers and watching foot ball. It's not like it was a sketchy looking side of the highway biker bar with a bunch of huge scary guys standing around to glare at you when you entered. The bar tenders were a couple of attractive young women wearing t shirts and jeans. and the people there were just sitting around chatting. But my ride's reaction was as if it was the former description. The bartender got us a phone book and someone else nearby suggested a towing company in town. Even the really drunk guy was trying to be helpful.
In the end we decided to tow the car in the morning and I called the friend I was going to call had she not showed. Who came to our rescue and took us home. I now owe him fudge. Possibly cookies.
Note to self: Mom is not good in any sort of crisis. No matter how small.
Recently I got back from Kansas City. I was visiting a very good friend. We goofed off, walked all over and shopped and ate. I also discovered I am the laziest wii player with certain games. Namely, Harvest Moon. This involved me laying on my stomach on the bed head propped up on a pillow with my arms hanging over the edge with the nunchuck in one hand and the wii-mote in the other. Classy, I know. Anyhow, I had lots of fun visiting.
We got a energy drink that looks like blood in a bag. It's called Blood (ooh big surprise). It's supposedly supposed to have similar nutrients to human blood. Why anyone would make something like this I am unsure and why I would volunteer to try it is an even greater mystery since I'm normally quite put off by the thought of drinking something that tastes like liquid pennies. Yet, nonetheless I was the one that tried it. As it said on the package it tasted like fruit punch. Then......PENNIES!! Why would I do that to myself?! Anyhow, there is video of this. However I'm not sure I want to share this.
I was sad to leave but for some reason all good things must come to an end or something like that. We arrived at the train station earlier than needed so we wandered around the station and the mall near by. We also went to grab lunch. Because we decided we had plenty of time to spare we didn't rush and so I was almost late for my train. As soon as we got to the waiting area they announced the last call for the train I was taking so we rushed out the door to the loading area and because my heart doesn't always want to cooperate with my body I ended up getting dizzy and falling. I was fine but that made it even more of a rush to get down there. I made it. The conductor said I still had 2 minutes to spare. I think I wish I had missed it though.
The trip back was not very exciting. I slept mostly and listened to music. Then I realized that I might have forgotten to tell my ride to pick me up. So I then started trying to call her but no one would answer. so I gave up and called another friend instead in case she didn't show up. When I got off the train she had remembered however and everything was fine....or so I thought. We got everything loaded in the car and were getting out of the parking lot and the car made sputtering noises and then would not start up. So I decided we should go get help across the street. "At a bar!?" she said. I didn't really see the problem as it's not a shady part of town and people here are generally well behaved. She continued. "I was so scared waiting in the train station by myself. It's scary in there at night." I can't understand why. It's a nice town and they keep the station up well. It even has an art gallery in it. It's well lit and there's people on staff. I explained that we couldn't just sit here and that we needed to get some help as I had already tried dialing 411 but it was being uncooperative and decided to seek a phone book instead. I said she could stay there while I went across the street to get a tow truck number but she insisted I not walk over there all by myself. Which I think she was more afraid for herself than me honestly. The street wasn't large or busy at all. The place we were going was a restaurant during the day and had a bar that stayed open late. A sports bar. So it was just guys sitting around having a few beers and watching foot ball. It's not like it was a sketchy looking side of the highway biker bar with a bunch of huge scary guys standing around to glare at you when you entered. The bar tenders were a couple of attractive young women wearing t shirts and jeans. and the people there were just sitting around chatting. But my ride's reaction was as if it was the former description. The bartender got us a phone book and someone else nearby suggested a towing company in town. Even the really drunk guy was trying to be helpful.
In the end we decided to tow the car in the morning and I called the friend I was going to call had she not showed. Who came to our rescue and took us home. I now owe him fudge. Possibly cookies.
Note to self: Mom is not good in any sort of crisis. No matter how small.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Performance Rant
Last Christmas season I performed for my city's tree lighting ceremony. As an opera singer, this went very well, especially with the children. A few months ago when it was inquired if I will do it again this year the Chamber of Commerce insulted me by asking me to perform again but felt that opera was not the right choice and was asked to perform country style or just stand around as an elf. As I am doing this for free and am a professional I was rather insulted. I decided not to perform for them this year and will be in another performance that weekend instead.
I got an email from the Chamber last night explaining that they needed more performers as they only had two and asked if I could do it as they could find no one else. I find this rather insulting as well. However I have another performance scheduled somewhere else so I will not be performing for them.
I'm not sure how others would handle said situation. or whether or not they would feel the same way. Personally I was insulted because I am trained to do something professionally. You would not ask a professional painter known for their beautiful landscapes or portraits to do an abstract sculpture. Especially when they're doing it as a community service. It's insulting to one's specific abilities. Especially when the people do receive them well as the type of artist they are and someone makes the assumption that the entire public is going to want only one thing and no variety. Yes, an audience will take what they're served but it's how can you know what every one likes when there's only one option? So not only was an insult to my skills but it was an insult to the tastes of the people that live here as well. To add insult to injury they decided that I was their last choice as a performer as well since they had no one else. That would be an insult to anyone professional or not.
Because I already have another performance scheduled, as I said, I won't be performing for them. Although I don't think I would perform for them again because of this.
Does this seem reasonable?
I got an email from the Chamber last night explaining that they needed more performers as they only had two and asked if I could do it as they could find no one else. I find this rather insulting as well. However I have another performance scheduled somewhere else so I will not be performing for them.
I'm not sure how others would handle said situation. or whether or not they would feel the same way. Personally I was insulted because I am trained to do something professionally. You would not ask a professional painter known for their beautiful landscapes or portraits to do an abstract sculpture. Especially when they're doing it as a community service. It's insulting to one's specific abilities. Especially when the people do receive them well as the type of artist they are and someone makes the assumption that the entire public is going to want only one thing and no variety. Yes, an audience will take what they're served but it's how can you know what every one likes when there's only one option? So not only was an insult to my skills but it was an insult to the tastes of the people that live here as well. To add insult to injury they decided that I was their last choice as a performer as well since they had no one else. That would be an insult to anyone professional or not.
Because I already have another performance scheduled, as I said, I won't be performing for them. Although I don't think I would perform for them again because of this.
Does this seem reasonable?
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